A Little Life Lesson

Do what you don't feel like doing.  I wrote this and posted it up on my inspiration board last night.  I was struggling with what to write, criticizing myself and generally not getting anywhere.  I began to think of reasons why I couldn't write.  I thought, I'm too tired and the baby is being challenging tonight.  I told myself I need to go to bed because I haven't gone to bed at a decent hour in weeks.  Then poor me, no one reads this blog anyway.  Sniff. Sniff.  Eventually leading to, I got myself into too big of a challenge with this one thing every day for 365 days. What was I thinking?  But those words, "Do what you don't feel like doing" kept popping into my head.

I remembered one night when Hank was around two months old he wouldn't stop nursing and go to sleep.  Anytime I tried to take it away he would scream and want it back.  I was getting desperate for my own space, for him to fall asleep and for there to be peace in the house.  As I began to cry I thought this same thing, "this is too big, I can't believe I chose to have a child, what was I thinking?"  But just as quickly as I had the thought, it passed, and I realized then I must do the thing I do not feel like doing.  I learned a lot that night about what it means to be a parent.  I also learned that this baby, who, God willing, will become a little boy and then a man is going to teach me a whole lot more than I will teach him. 

So I continue on this journey to write every single day for 365 days even though there will be nights where I don't feel like doing it.  Days when things will be overwhelming and I might not have the time.  I must do the thing I don't feel like doing because the reward that I get from writing and sharing is far greater than the one I get when I am keeping everything inside.